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This is 2013, we’re obliged to partake in some form of mating ritual, and in many ways technology makes flirting easier. If it’s a ‘Well she’s shamed the family but it is at least tastefully done’ face… Far sexier than full frontal, and you’ll be less devastated about it winding up online. I wouldn’t encourage sexting, even between consenting adults, as I’ve heard one too many negative sexting sagas.

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First there were love notes, then there was texting and now there’s jeopardising your entire romantic and professional future by sending a naked picture of yourself to your significant other. Everyone has heard a horror story of someone (a female, usually) whose naked photos intended for the eyes of her significant other somehow found their way onto porn sites or worse – social media. The type of light you use can make the difference between a trashy, unflattering snap, and a classy sexy shot. Use technology to your advantage – Snapchat and Tiger Text are just two of the apps out there that make great mediums for sending sexy photos and messages, because they permanently delete them after up to 10 seconds. If you are absolutely determined to send your other half a fully nude photo, for God’s sake crop out your head. Don’t do it, but if you do, keep your face covered or out of shot. There are thousands of headless shots online from other savvy sexters, so find one with a hot bod and then even if it is somehow linked back to you, you can explain your sneaky strategy and ‘out’ your ‘outer’ at the same time.

Email accounts are hacked, exes can be malicious s**ts, and the internet is forever. Pull a face like Jenna Jameson and, if the images wind up online, people might assume – unfairly – that you put those snaps up yourself. But your best bet, other than NOT TAKING NAKED PICTURES is to not have your face in the photo at all – see tip 8. Soft sexy lighting will help to obscure your features and soften the snap. They’re not foolproof – screenshots can be taken, and photos can be recalled using the right technology – but you should be reasonably safe as long as you’re not sending them to Edward Snowden or Kevin Mitnick. If the incriminating photo does eventually wind up online, then it’s just another naked body.

They call it ‘outing’, and it can be devastating for the victim (and later the disgraced ‘outer’ who is generally despised by all who are aware of his/her actions – good luck finding a new partner). Before you send a photo, think to yourself: would I be happy with everyone I know seeing this? When in doubt, picture a beloved grandparent’s face if they saw the photo. We’d never normally advocate being a tease, but when it comes to sexting it’s a surprisingly effective and enticing way to spice up the exchange without compromising your dignity. An embarrassingly identifiable The Only Way Is Essex duvet cover or an exotic fraying wall-hanging from your gap year? Your best bet is to look away from the camera, as if you’ve seen something cool and interesting out of shot. But if you have distinctive moles or tattoos then, seriously, don’t bother.

As a specific practice, ‘outing’ is not inherently illegal (unless the participant is a minor, in which case it’s so illegal you may as well put your prison uniform on and sign the sex offenders’ register today), but hacking/stealing photos, distribution of pornography, harassment and blackmail all are, so many cases do end up in court. If it’s a heart-attack face, delete and don’t send. Send an image of a stockinged leg or a strategically posed partial nude. These things will make it much harder to deny to friends and family that it’s you in the picture. Dirty laundry on the floor and an overflowing bin are not sexy.

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